JAMES + LOUIS by Bek Smith

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love, what is unique about you, and your relationship:

We are two people from opposite ends of the world, who met unexpectedly in the middle.

James is British and one of the few people who actually grew up in London. I am Australian and originally from Melbourne. We met in Los Angeles, which we now call home.

Our love story was slow and unpolished. At the time, James was living in New York, building the U.S. arm of the business which he founded a decade prior. I had recently moved to Los Angeles from San Francisco to set up a new innovation lab for an American firm. One night, when James was visiting LA for work, he was staying at a hotel not far from my apartment and we both swiped right on Tinder.

The first year was such an adventure for us…back and forth travel between the two cities, stealing a long weekend away together when we could. After 12 months, James decided to move to LA and in our third year, we bought a home together.

James’ company has continued to thrive in LA, he oversees a portfolio of businesses in production, advertising, digital immersive events, and casting. I am a General Manager at BCG Digital Ventures, Boston Consulting Group’s digital innovation, business build, and venture capital group.

Whilst we are complete opposites in many of our strengths and character traits, our relationship is based on kindness, curiosity, and a love of adventure and we weave those principles into our travel together, how we spend our weekends and how we show up for our family and friends.

Tell us about your special day, was there a specific theme or style? Tell us a little about the setting, the styling, and some of your favourite details:

Well…we actually had three weddings. Our legal wedding was at City Hall in Los Angeles. Followed by a wedding in London and we concluded with a wedding in Melbourne. From the beginning, our intention for the weddings was to feel intimate, almost like a dinner party. Hosting two wedding celebrations across two cities, allowed us to keep the guest list small. We wanted the wedding to reflect three key elements:

  1. Our spirituality: we held the ceremony in the round, with all guests holding hands, creating a circle of love and support. Our ceremony was facilitated by two dear friends who were able to tap into their deep, universal wisdom as part of celebrating our union. We had an abundance of rose quartz crystals (heart stone) in the ceremony and delicately placed on the tables for the celebration dinner. In fact, the rose quartz became the color palette for this wedding, lots of beautiful dusty pinks, mixed with bold, deep reds.
  2. Our love of food: we chose Bistrotheque in Shoreditch, partly because it was where James grew up, but mainly because it was one of his favorite restaurants when he lived in London. The quality of food and service has not changed. Being in ceremony with friends and family is about feasting together and we wanted the feast to be exquisite.
  3. Growing the collective friendship circle: We adore our friends and family and wanted as many of them to meet each other as possible. Holding hands in the ceremony, allowed folks to get to know people standing by their side. We seated guests carefully knowing some great connections were going to be made and we finished the night with a disco style salon that brought the whole group together.

To transform the space, we hired an amazing West End set designer who curated the flowers, furniture, and overall flow of the space. The evening was candlelight and black tie, which added this delicious layer of glamor.

Tell us about your main outfits:

From the beginning, we wanted to be in classic black tie. We loved the tradition of black tie and knew it would be a beautiful contrast to the venue which was originally an old industrial station in the heart of East London. There were elements that we wanted to have in our black tie:

  • Large, thick bow tie
  • Classic peak lapel with one button
  • Tuxedo shirt, with widespread collar and black buttons on white pique placket

James found the perfect suit when he visited the Paul Smith store on Melrose Avenue. He was proud to wear a British designer at our wedding.

I had my suit custom made at Suit Supply. Suit Supply is a Scandinavian based retailer who specializes in classic menswear with modern twists/updates. They were able to build a slim fitting tuxedo, with all the details that I love (french cuff, monogramming, tapered trousers, etc).

What were some of the most memorable/unique moments from the day?

The week of the wedding had been a cold and wet week in London. When we woke on the Saturday, the blue skies and sun had reappeared. Whilst it was a crisp day (London in November), the weather allowed us to take some beautiful pre-wedding photographs of the London skyline and quintessential London streets.

Our intention was to be well rested on the day. Friday night was spent having a lovely relaxed dinner in our hotel room (Connaught Hotel, Mayfair). On the morning of our wedding, we had a leisurely breakfast, James visited the hotel spa and by about 2pm, we started to get ready. Bek Smith, our photographer arrived and we allowed plenty of time to take pictures in and around the hotel. By 5pm we were in the car rattling through the streets of London towards Bistrotheque. Allowing for a slow day was a great way to mentally arrive at the wedding.

Our ceremony was officiated by two people special to us both. We wanted to reimagine what a ceremony could “be” based on some of the spiritual practices (meditation etc) James and I enjoy. Guests formed a circle around us and held hands whilst we exchanged our vows. Our god sons scattered rose petals to hold the circle. Our celebrants blended ancient wisdoms with modern philosophy to create a true bonding experience for us and our guests. Our fathers, both of whom have passed, were very much part of the ceremony, with pictures on our altar and blessings provided via our celebrants. It truly was a special moment, to stand in the middle of a friendship and family circle, we felt nourished and supported by the collective love that was flowing.

Speeches are so important at a wedding. A speech at a wedding that makes everyone feel included, that they feel part of a story that the speaker and the couple are weaving are by far the best speeches we have enjoyed. We had three close friends contribute the most wonderful speeches. James’ best man had known him since they were 17, his best woman has known James since their 20’s. My best man has known me since we were 10 years old. Combined, their speeches were humorous and cheeky and importantly highlighted meaningful aspects of our individual histories and interdependent future together.

During dinner our event team had transformed our ceremony space into a salon style disco lounge. After speeches, we invited guests into this newly reformed space to continue celebrations. We had a champagne tower ready to kick off festivities. But with the first beat of the live band struck, the tower toppled to the ground. No matter how much planning, you got to be open to any or all surprises. Within a second, the glasses were cleared away and the champagne flowed via passed trays. That’s the power in investing in an experienced wedding team, they keep the love mojo going no matter what.

Any advice for other couples planning to spend the rest of their lives together?

Communication is key and acknowledge that you communicate in many different ways: listening, talking, touching as well as energetically, physically and emotionally. Be sure to setup moments for deep communication work. We call it work, because it is, it doesn’t have to be hard or easy work, but it requires practice and a regular cadence to peel the onion and get to the juicy, soul bonding stuff.

Acknowledge and respect each other’s strengths and voice your gratitude for them as a friend, as a lover, as a partner, as a mother/father, as a son/daughter. We are all trying to do our best in this life, mistakes will be made and miscommunications will be shared. Key is to ground yourself in your individual strengths, your combined strengths and express gratitude for how each of you are showing up in this relationship.

Life is a work in progress and this relationship is no different. By the end of your lifetimes, your vows will be torn up and taped back together again – and that’s how it should be, an evolving commitment by two evolving individuals. Honouring that progress and allowing space for that change in each other is key to your growth as humans and as partners.

Finally, a simple daily reminder that your partner is lovable and loved goes a long way. Creating a life together is more than just homes, kids, ups and downs. It is also creating a space to belong. At the end of a long, hard day, when perhaps you weren’t your best self, getting a reminder that you are lovable and loved can improve the well-being of your relationship and life.

Venue & Catering: Bistrotheque | Photographer: Bek Smith | Celebrant: Linda Penny & Michael Hartzel | Entertainment: Gatsby Band & Pianist – Daryl at Sternberberg Clarke | Styling: Julie Mansfield | Planner: Jodie Mosaid | Hire: Juno Hire & Great Hire | Flora: That Flower Shop | Cake: Violet Cakes | James’ Suit: Paul Smith | Louis’ Suit: Suit Supply | Rings: Cartier | Shoes: Paul Smith | Fragrance: Superstitions by Albert Elbaz for Fredric Malle