Hayley + Park by The Photobrief

It gave everything a Southern Gothic mood, and everyone ended up loving it.

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We’re both writers, Park covers politics and I write about culture.

How/where/when did you meet — and what were your first impressions?

We met at a Christmas party in 2022. A mutual friend from the literary world had been trying to introduce us for a while, but in the end we just ran into each other and started talking. I was in a corner chatting with a friend when Park came in, introduced himself, and had us both laughing pretty quickly. Later, as people were leaving, he found me again, and we ended up talking about what we were both reading. It was one of those conversations that falls into an easy rhythm right away. I thought he was funny and interesting. He thought I was charming. The next day he got my number from our mutual friend and asked me out.

What styling and visual elements worked best for you?

Since we were doing a destination wedding, I didn’t want to have to worry about hauling a bunch of handmade things down but still wanted the wedding to have a personal touch. Our solution to that was having my old roommate, Roland High, who regularly publishes cartoons in The New Yorker, create some illustrations for the stationery and wedding website. The illustrations were adapted from Victorian-era Valentine’s Day cards. I’d actually purchased an authentic one at an antiquarian fair when we first started dating, and it was the first gift I gave Park, so that was the original inspiration.

During the wedding weekend, the setting of downtown Charleston did most of the work, which is exactly what we wanted. We’re both from the South and love the traditional architecture of the region, so we picked historic venues in the French Quarter. The French Huguenot Church and the South Carolina Society Hall were both constructed in the early 19th century—they’re both very stately and formal yet have these lovely little whimsical details inside, like marble plaques with fanciful engravings, unique chandeliers, and oil paintings on the walls. Aside from the venues themselves, there’s the city itself that supplied the day’s romantic atmosphere. Guests walked from place to place through cobblestone streets, past horse-drawn carriages, antebellum houses, and oak trees hung with Spanish moss. It was overcast on our wedding day, which we were initially nervous about, but it gave everything a Southern Gothic mood, and everyone ended up loving it. Looking back, I’m grateful we were able to rest on the charm of the environment rather than agonising over decorations! If I’d had to worry about that too, I may have lost my mind.

What did you enjoy most about the planning process, and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?

So much of it, honestly. It was a completely absorbing creative project, like directing a movie where you’re the auteur. I loved learning about the history of bridal fashion and floristry. I started arranging flowers more often at home, and at the peak of my pre-wedding derangement, I tried to convince Park that we should start a peony farm and made a spreadsheet mapping out a path to profitability. There were definitely some things I could have done to keep wedding planning fun rather than crazy-making. First: create a spreadsheet for cost tracking and keep it updated religiously. Mine was super well maintained at the beginning but gradually dropped off over time, and I wish I’d kept it up. Staying organised saves an enormous amount of time and helps keep everyone involved on the same page throughout the planning process. About a week out, have your Maid of Honour or someone equally reliable put together a simple itinerary and send it to everyone involved. Keep in mind that the bride is always going to be thinking about the wedding more than anyone else—people aren’t tracking details the way you are, so just be gracious when you have to repeat yourself or clarify things. Also, cliché, but try to relax. Most people will never notice the small things you’ve lost sleep over. If something doesn’t go right on the day, just let it go. I could go on, but I’ll leave it there.

Tell us about your vendors. Were there any standout suppliers you would like to make special mention of?

My photographer was wonderful. She and her assistant were sweet and supportive all day, even when I started to panic halfway through having my hair done and while trying to wrangle over fifty members of our extended family for portraits after the ceremony. Our caterer also did an amazing job. A lot of our friends and coworkers had come down from the Northeast and had never had Lowcountry Southern food before, and their chefs did a great job of serving up classics like fried green tomatoes, pimento cheese, and shrimp and grits. And our DJ, Jon, was incredible. Park and I wanted to play the indie music we loved growing up while still keeping our families entertained, and Jon blended country, pop, disco, and new wave together in ways that were genuinely shocking. We always have fun dancing at weddings, even if the music is corny.

Tell us about your main outfits — what was unique, and is there a story?

I got my dress from Jane Bourvis in London. She’s a dressmaker who works with antique textiles, either turning them into new dresses or using original antique gowns as templates to build something new and wearable. Mine was based on a 1920s gown. I love the fabrics and silhouettes from that era, but it’s hard to find an actual antique wedding dress in good enough condition to wear or larger than a size two. Jane’s shop was a great find for exactly that reason: you get the look of the period without having to become a textile restorer in the middle of planning a wedding. Park, for his part, went to J. Press for his tux. The salesmen were great, but tip here: use your own tailor rather than an in-house one at a brand!

Tell us about your wedding and engagement rings.

I’d never worn much jewellery before, so shopping for engagement rings felt a little overwhelming at first. Thankfully, soon into the process of shopping for one, I found Erie Basin in Red Hook, Brooklyn, near where we were living at the time. The owner, Russell Whitmore, collects antique jewellery and either sells pieces as they are or reworks them into new settings. My diamond is a step-cut stone from the 1920s, set in one of Russell’s own designs. I basically stopped looking once I saw it online and “accidentally” sent the link to Park instead of my mom. We just got Park a classic gold band from Blue Nile. Sometimes it’s best not to overthink things!

What were one or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on?

The venues and the city, without question. We’re both so glad we had it in Charleston. It’s such a beautiful, distinctive place, and the setting made the whole day feel romantic without any extra effort on our part. As I said, we’re from the South, so having our families meet somewhere in the middle felt meaningful in its own right, separate from anything to do with decor or budget.

Was there a favorite moment (or two) that you will treasure always?

After the reception, we got into one of Charleston’s pedicabs and rode around the Battery along the river. We were both drunk, happy, and a little sweaty. It was humid out, but there was a cool breeze, and we just talked and laughed as we cruised past the lamplit streets. It’s a small memory, but it’s the one that comes back to me first when I think about that night.

What does being married mean to you, and are there any special rituals you have that you would like to share?

For both of us, being married means becoming one, two lives folded into a single new thing, something neither of us could have built alone. It’s a covenant we renew daily: a decision to consider someone else’s life before your own, kept up on the ordinary days when the feeling of love goes quiet as much as the days when it doesn’t. It means taking the other person’s needs into account when making choices, giving up small pieces of independence so a shared life can hold its shape. Some might see that as confining. But, at least in the very early stages, we’ve mostly found it to be a relief. Doing everything alone can be tiring in a way you don’t always notice until you don’t have to anymore.

As for rituals, honestly, I don’t think we’ve thought about this very much thus far. We should. Right now, the only ritual I can think of that seems original to us is that occasionally, when we make a nice meal at home together, after dessert we’ll read Catullus poems until we’re red in the face from laughing. I’d like to keep doing that.