Katie + David by The Sands

We loved the contrast of more refined, romantic elements against the wildness of the venue

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We are both artists and writers, with a background in theatre and a foreground in making each other laugh. As of one week after the wedding, David is a law student at UCLA, where he will be studying for the next three years. Katherine is a writer and educator. We love black-and-white movies, beautiful dinners, making each other playlists, writing and sending letters, telling stupid jokes, and driving.

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

We met in the fall of 2018 through a theatre company we were both involved with, but we didn’t start our relationship until the spring of 2023. We were young, and both had plenty of growing up to do, but always had the idea of each other in the back of our minds. We fell in love in early spring. We spent a week lounging in gardens, reading short stories aloud, and watching bad movies just so we could whisper bad jokes (whispering, in turn, just so we could be closer to each other). Three years later, everything and nothing has changed. We have been best friends, partners, co-directors, co-conspirators, and fiancés, and in every chapter we have done our very best to lift one another up to the sun. If the life we have ahead of us is anything like the life we’ve shared to date, it will be rife with handwritten notes and Looney Tunes-style gags. It will teach us to be kinder, gentler, tougher; it will be kind and gentle and tough with us in return.

We like to say we love each other more every day. How could we do anything else?

What styling and visual elements worked best for you? (could be things, the florals, particular hire products or your marquee, etc., something the stylist created or simply just the scenic beauty of your location or the existing design of your venue).

We wanted the day to feel romantic and considered, but never overly polished or precious. From the beginning, we knew we didn’t want anything to feel too rigid or overly produced. The venue already has so much natural beauty, and rather than impose too much on the setting, we wanted the design to feel as though it had grown out of the landscape itself.

We kept returning to the idea of a late-summer dinner party—long, lingering, slightly loose around the edges, and filled with everyone we love most. That feeling became a kind of touchstone for every decision we made. We wanted a real sense of occasion, but also an ease to the day: beautiful tablescapes that encouraged people to feast and gab, florals that felt abundant and saturated without becoming overly arranged, and details that felt thoughtful rather than fussy. The fruit all came from Katherine’s family’s farm; we opted for potato chips, olives, and Marcona almonds on the bar tables to tie in David’s Spanish roots. Intentional, but not without purpose.

There was something especially important to us about allowing the natural surroundings to remain part of the design. We loved the contrast of more refined, romantic elements against the wildness of the venue, and I think that tension kept everything from feeling too perfect or overly styled. Ultimately, the most successful elements were the ones that created atmosphere without calling too much attention to themselves.

What did you enjoy most about the planning process, and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?

There was something deeply satisfying about cracking the little puzzles of wedding planning and watching the bigger pieces click into place. We had less than five months between getting engaged and getting married, so there wasn’t much room for endless deliberation. In retrospect, that was probably a blessing. We had to make the decisions and move on. At the end of the day, my advice is to remember the joy of the wedding day comes from the people there; don’t kill yourself over the small stuff. Decide what actually matters to you, spend your energy there, and be willing to let the rest be good enough. There were many times throughout the stressful, overwhelming bits of the process when we turned to each other and said, “We should’ve gone to city hall.” As soon as the big day came, we changed our tune. We wouldn’t change a thing.

Tell us about your vendors. Were there any standout suppliers you would like to make special mention of?

Our vendors made the day sing. Laura, our caterer, helped us craft a locally sourced menu to be served family style across both long tables and rounds. Our baker, Jeanne, produced a passionfruit wedding cake that I’m still drooling over. The florist, Katie, brought the whole day to life. She took our dutch masters inspiration and tucked tulips and fruit into every large arrangement, bouquet, and aisle meadow. She is an artist. Maggie and Carson, our photographer and videographer, felt like welcoming old (extraordinarily talented) friends into our day.

Tell us about your wedding and engagement rings.

We picked out our wedding rings from a small, secondhand store in the jewellery centre in San Francisco. It took about 10 minutes of trying rings on to find a pair that fit each of us perfectly. Katherine’s is a slim 14k gold band, about 3mm wide, with delicate milgrain edging along the top and bottom; David’s is wider, closer to 6mm, softly rounded, also 14k gold. They match. The woman we bought them from told us it was meant to be, and gifted us a jar of honey on our way out.

Once purchased, we took the rings next door to be engraved. Both rings now bear the phrase “By Hand” on the inside. We say that’s how we love each other–carefully, intentionally, slowly. By hand.

What were one or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on? (food, photography, florals, the venue, your outfits?).

Katherine’s grandfather was a character in every sense of the word, and flowers were one of the great loves of his life. He had an eye for the unusual, and a lifelong habit of curating his garden. He passed away a few months before we got engaged, so when we began planning the wedding, florals took on a significance they might not otherwise have had.

We ultimately chose to spend more on flowers than we had originally imagined, not simply because we wanted the day to feel lush and romantic, but because it felt like a way of bringing him into it. Gary’s wedding gift. There was something right about seeing flowers everywhere—spilling from arrangements, lining the aisle, tucked among fruit on the tables—and knowing how much attention he would have paid them.

He would have had opinions, of course. Probably even notes. But I know he would’ve taken pride in them all the same.

Was there a favourite moment (or two) that you will treasure always?

Not to be complete saps, but our vows were really the beating heart of the day. Katherine’s aunt officiated, which made the ceremony feel incredibly personal from the outset, and every part of it felt intimate, warm, and entirely our own. We wrote our vows ourselves and read them from little velvet books we found on Etsy. We’d love to share all the intimate and heartfelt promises and memories voiced, but you just had to be there.

In addition, everyone had a truly wonderful time. We had good food, good alcohol, and good company. It was the least stressful, most wonderful day of our lives.

What does being married mean to you, and are there any special rituals you have that you would like to share?

Being married is, quite simply, the best thing we’ve done together. There is a wonderful feeling that comes with being able to say, “We’re family now.” The wedding made that official, of course, but it’s been an added delight watching our two families become a family of their own. A few weeks ago, our parents and grandparents all went out to breakfast together, and we weren’t even there! There is something so sweet about realising these relationships exist now, even in our absence.

So far, marriage has provided us with new opportunities to show each other love, and we are both rising to the occasion. We’re doing everything we’ve always done, making dinners together (David does the dishes), spending time with friends, going to the movies, and dreaming about what the future will hold, but now with the promise of sharing a life together layered underneath and on top of it all.