I always wanted our wedding to feel like us rather than follow a template
Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…
I’m a digital product designer at a local fintech company, and Tony is a visual effects lecturer at university.
How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?
We first met in 2013, at the language school I was attending. Tony had been invited in to give a presentation about his field. My English wasn’t good enough to follow much of it, so my only real impression was: he speaks incredible English, and I want to speak like that.
We had a quick chat after his session. I was in a rush to get home and set up a birthday party for a friend, and the person I needed to leave with, my ride home, was the one Tony was talking to. To convey the urgency, I said to them in Chinese: 我们现在可以走了吗？ 我要做大事。Meaning, Can we go now? I’ve got a big thing to do. Except 做大事 also happens to be a euphemism for going to the toilet, number two, specifically. Tony still laughs about it.
Later, in high school, I took a lot of design subjects. Tony helped me through them, and that’s how we became close.
What styling and visual elements worked best for you? (could be things, the florals, particular hire products or your marquee, etc., something the stylist created or simply just the scenic beauty of your location or the existing design of your venue).
I’m a big fan of the K-pop group Seventeen, and we’ve been to their concerts together all over the world. I always wanted our wedding to feel like us rather than follow a template, and we wanted our guests to actually enjoy the day. So we landed on a concept: “love debut”: a nod to the way a K-pop group debuts, but for us. Everything flowed from there. The guest souvenirs, the group photos, the live singing as we entered the reception, our first dance, the music selection- every part of the day reflected it.
The florals came with a constraint: we’re both allergic, so we wanted to keep them minimal. Luckylove Floral gave us an infinity symbol, which turned out to be perfect: simple, unusual, full of meaning, and it photographed beautifully.
What did you enjoy most about the planning process, and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?
Being a designer, I enjoy researching and making things myself. I loved building our wedding invitation website, refining the layout, choosing the photos, and working out what went on each page. I also designed and assembled our guest souvenirs, our vow cards, and special ribbon badges for our dance crew.
If you already have a strong sense of what you want your wedding to be, the main thing is giving yourself enough time to line up suppliers and vendors so everything arrives when it should.
If you’re not sure what you want, or you don’t think you can manage it alone, I’d really recommend finding a good wedding planning team. That way you can focus on the parts that come easily to you, and arrive at the day without the pressure.
One more thing: I’d encourage the husbands-to-be to invest more time in the planning. You might say you don’t have ideas, or that you’re not good at picking a style, but it’s the effort and attention that matter most.
Tell us about your vendors. Were there any standout suppliers you would like to make special mention of?
Every vendor we worked with was professional and brilliant, and they all shared the same attitude: we’re here for you, and we want you to have a perfect day.
Our photographer was the first vendor we booked. We’d already done a couple of shoots with Kokomo Film, and her style “distinctive, a bit bold” always caught our eye. She has never given us a photo we didn’t love.
Goodday Wedding and Luckylove Floral were just as good. Our wedding was at the end of March, and we only approached them in early February. Despite the short lead time, they worked incredibly hard and came back with so many fun ideas for the florals, the venue setup, and the small touches that made the day feel like ours. They’re relatively new to the industry, but you’d never know it; they were professional throughout, and their communication was excellent.
We used Lady Barber’s Shop as our changing room, and the interior gave our morning preparation photos a look we couldn’t have staged ourselves.
Tell us about your main outfits, what was unique, and is there a story?
I looked for my dress across several provinces in China, then Seoul, then Auckland, and nothing felt right. It was on my second visit to Aurora Bridal in Auckland that the owner mentioned she’d just ordered in a new dress she thought would suit me. I went back to try it, and I knew the moment I put it on. It fit perfectly, no tailoring needed at all. Being the first bride to wear it made it even better.
We each had four outfits for the day: tea ceremony, ceremony, reception, and first dance. Two of Tony’s suits came from my dad’s wardrobe, more than twenty years old. It felt like fate that my dad’s custom-made suits would fit Tony this well, and that he’d bought them all those years ago with no idea they’d be worn again at his daughter’s wedding.
It was just meant to be.
Tell us about your wedding and engagement rings.
Tony proposed in 2018. He’d used his own ring finger as a size guide when he bought the ring, so, predictably, it was too big, and we had it resized soon after. Eight years on, he knew better than to guess again, so we chose our wedding rings together.
We both have slim fingers, which made it surprisingly hard to find the right sizes in the styles we liked. In the end we bought a pair from Chow Tai Fook, and we also went to a local silversmith’s workshop to make our own, designed by us, made by us. That pair felt like something else entirely.
What were one or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on? (food, photography, florals, the venue, your outfits?).
Food and photography. We wanted our guests to be looked after, comfortable, well fed, and free to enjoy themselves. Our guests are diverse in both ethnicity and dietary requirements, so we tried to cater for everyone where we could, from the finger food through to the mains and dessert.
Photography we saw as the single most important element. A good photographer knows what to capture, when, and how, and good photos bring the whole day back to you, years later, exactly as it felt.
Was there a favourite moment (or two) that you will treasure always?
Honestly, the whole day felt like a dream, and looking back, we were so lucky with how everything came together. We’d promised each other we wouldn’t cry, not even happy tears.
But the moment my dad walked me down the aisle. I looked out at my family, my friends, everyone we loved, and then at Tony, standing at the end of the aisle; my eyes welled up. I managed to hold it back, and I’m fairly sure Tony was doing the same. It was so emotional.
The second moment was our first dance. Instead of something traditional, we had a group of friends put together a K-pop performance with us. I was so proud of Tony; he’d never danced before in his life, and he nailed it on our wedding day, in front of everyone. We’d practised for months, classes every week. I watched him struggle with it, get shy, get frustrated. He got there because he wanted to do it for me. Dancing with Tony that night was the best part of the whole day, and that was our love debut.
What does being married mean to you, and are there any special rituals you have that you would like to share?
We’ve been together almost twelve years, and honestly, being married hasn’t changed much. What keeps us close, and keeps us falling for each other a bit more as we go, is that we talk constantly. An Instagram post, a film, work, a random idea, a self-doubt, somewhere we want to visit, something one of us has just learnt. The conversations go deep easily, and that’s what lets us understand each other properly, from every angle.
We do have one rule: we never leave an argument unresolved overnight. Whether it’s 5 pm or 1 am, we sit with it until we’ve both said how we actually feel and worked out what really set it off. It’s worked from day one, and it’s the single biggest reason our relationship is as strong and healthy as it is.
LOCATION The Stables Matakana, Auckland, New Zealand, @stablesweddingvenue BRIDE Lexi GROOM Tony PHOTOGRAPHER Kokomo Film, @kokomofilm CONTENT CREATOR & PLANNER Good Day, @goodday.weddings FLORIST Luckylove Floral, @luckylovefloral CELEBRANT Melody, @celebrantmelody CAKE Ivory Atelier, @ivoryateliernz RINGS Bought a pair from Chow Tai Fook; Made and designed by the couple in a local silversmith’s workshop BRIDE’S DRESS Aurora Bridal, @aurorabridal.shop GROOM’S SUITS Bride’s father’s custom made suit
