Rachel + James by Alex Grace Jones

We wanted something classic, intimate and elegant, inspired in part by photographs from my grandmother’s wedding.

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We’ve been together for almost ten years and live in Islington, where we own a home together that has become a bit of a sanctuary from the pace of city life. Rachel works in the art world and James in finance. We love living in London and everything that comes with it, particularly having so much great food and lovely independent shops on our doorstep, but we’re equally happy escaping the city whenever we can, usually to the countryside or the sea.

We’re both very family-oriented and love spending time with our family and close friends. We tend to find the most enjoyment in quite simple, everyday things: sitting in the sun with a coffee, walking around our neighbourhood, cooking for each other, having friends over or finding somewhere good to eat. We also love hunting for antiques and have collected pieces together over the years that have gradually found their way into our home.

Travel is a big part of our lives too, although we’re much more drawn to quiet, remote places than busy destinations. I think, ultimately, we both really value a sense of calm and quality, unhurried time, so it all comes back to that.

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

Physically? Soho. Actually? Bumble. We originally arranged our first date for 14 February, before realising that was Valentine’s Day, so we moved it to two days later out of pure cringe. Turns out we were each other’s Valentine after all. I remember liking that James wore his heart on his sleeve and seemed completely comfortable being himself. Read: the questionable, borderline uncool selfies that featured on his Bumble profile. There was something about that which made him feel very easy to talk to and not at all intimidating. Despite that, I remember not having especially high hopes for the date and didn’t bother to touch up my makeup after work beforehand, a decision I immediately regretted when I saw him in person.

I asked James what his first impression of me was, and he said, “tall and kind”…

Tell us about the vision you had for the mood and style of your wedding. (theme, key styling elements, florals, colour palettes etc.).

We always knew we wanted the two days to be quite different but still connected. The florals became the red thread running through both, and we worked with the same florist for each celebration.

For the first, we wanted something classic, intimate and elegant, inspired in part by photographs from my grandmother’s wedding. The idea was a long lunch somewhere familiar, with everyone dressed up but the atmosphere still relaxed. We kept everything pared back and pretty, with seasonal flowers in soft, neutral tones, beautiful food and nothing too formal or overdone.

The second day was a day of two halves. We started with drinks on the terrace overlooking the River Yealm, with touches that echoed the classic style of London, before moving inside for something much more playful. We wanted the party to be fun, laid-back, girly, slightly kitsch and a little outrageous, with room for excess and silliness.

Location was important throughout. Islington and Hackney have been the backdrop to our relationship, while Devon holds years of memories with friends. The Yacht Club wasn’t an established wedding venue either, which gave us the freedom to make it completely our own.

What styling and visual elements worked best for you? (could be things, the florals, particular hire products or your marquee, etc., something the stylist created or simply just the scenic beauty of your location or the existing design of your venue).

Mixing old with new is always a good way to bring in character, so in the year leading up to the wedding we collected silverware from flea markets, gathered shells to use as ashtrays and serving dishes, and found second-hand silk dupion left over from other people’s bridal gowns to dress the poser tables. I also found some duck egg blue silk dupion and fashioned it into a bow for our family dog, Bessie, to wear. She was my something blue.

We also gave our florist a lot of freedom. She champions seasonal flowers, which was important to us, so rather than being overly specific, we shared the wider mood and trusted her. The result was delicate and feminine without ever feeling overly styled.

One of my favourite details was the outfits for my nephews, who were our page boys. Very sweetly, a local villager embroidered them with motifs chosen by the boys themselves, a butterfly and a bee, so they would actually want to wear them. The whole village was incredibly supportive around the event, which made being there even more special.

I think choosing places that already meant something to us was a big part of why everything felt so natural. We both came away feeling that, if we did it all again, we’d choose exactly the same places.

What did you enjoy most about the planning process, and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?

What we most enjoyed was the creative and visual side of the planning. We loved designing the menus, making playlists and thinking about how all the individual elements would speak to each other. The first stage of deciding when and where, while factoring in restrictions on numbers, was probably the hardest part, but once we had the dates and venues locked in, we could start thinking about all the details that would make each day feel like ours.

We didn’t have a wedding planner and, while that probably would have taken some pressure off the logistics, particularly in Devon, I think doing it ourselves was part of what made it so personal. Neither venue offered a traditional wedding package, so rather than choosing from options one, two or three, we started with a blank slate and worked with them to create something completely our own. It was an amazing privilege, although there were moments when we were almost divorced before we were even married.

Our advice would be to stay true to what you actually want. It took us a while to work out what felt like us, but we’re so
glad we persevered. And if you’re doing a lot yourself, allow far more time than you think you need, especially when getting ready on the day.

Tell us about your vendors. Were there any standout suppliers you would like to make special mention of?

Alex was the only photographer we spoke to, and we immediately clicked. My best advice is to choose a photographer you could imagine being friends with, because it makes everything on the day feel so much more natural. I really don’t enjoy having my photo taken, so it was a minor miracle that she made me feel completely comfortable. She also rescued us from a slight funk in Devon when the rain had flattened the flowers, and James had proclaimed it “the worst morning of his life”. Alex reminded us that we only got to do this once and helped us move past it quickly enough to enjoy what was actually in front of us.

Keeley and Adam, who did hair and makeup in London, set the tone for such a calm morning and allowed me to feel really present.

Café Cecilia was incredibly accommodating and made everything feel special, as though nothing was too much to ask.

And a huge mention to Maddie and her team at the YYC in Newton Ferrers. She gave us so much freedom, working with us to design and taste the menu from scratch, and even indulged me in specifying which dishes I wanted things served on. The sweetest ever!

Tell us about your main outfits, what was unique, and is there a story?

I’d always been slightly obsessed with veils. My mum didn’t wear one when she got married, and I’ve always loved the idea of having something that can be kept and passed down, so the veil felt really important to me. Jane Bourvis made mine based on an antique veil from her collection, in a colour that worked with my dress, and used a separate piece of antique lace to make my choker. I’m a 90s girl at heart, with a weirdly long neck, so a choker was always going to feature somewhere.

I never went to a bridal shop or tried on traditional wedding dresses. I knew I wanted a simple, sleek slip dress that would let the accessories do the talking. I’ve always loved Anna October’s designs, and her slip fitted me perfectly off the rack, so it was a very easy choice.

For the party, I wanted the complete opposite and something I could never really get away with in normal life. I chose a sheer, embellished, fuchsia pink 90s supermodel style slip dress with diamanté jewellery from Claire’s. It was very Barbie and very fun.

James took a more practical and classic approach. He wanted a tuxedo he could wear for life, so we invested in having one made bespoke.

Tell us about your wedding and engagement rings.

James knew from the outset that I’d want an antique engagement ring, so he enlisted the help of one of my close friends. She knew I had always liked cluster rings, and together they found a floral-shaped antique ring.

We chose our wedding bands together, and both wanted to find antique or second-hand pieces. James was drawn to the proportions and elegance of older men’s rings and found one dating from the early 1900s. I wanted something quite discreet and found an octagonal band from the 1950s with a tiny orange blossom engraving. I was told that orange blossom is associated with enduring love, and I liked both the symbolism and the subtle connection to the floral motif of my engagement ring.

What were one or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on? (food, photography, florals, the venue, your outfits?).

Food and drink were probably the biggest priority for us. We wanted everyone to have a good time, and eating and drinking well is a big part of that. We both love food, and it’s how we spend a lot of our time with friends and family anyway, so it made sense to spend more of the budget there.

Photography was also something we knew from the beginning that we didn’t want to compromise on. Rach has a background in photography, so naturally it mattered to her that we came away with images we really loved.

Was there a favourite moment (or two) that you will treasure always?

There were so many; it’s so hard to pick just one or two.

The pure joy of the confetti and the smiles on the faces of our friends and family as we came out of the Town Hall. Sneaking away from the pub early to eat burgers in our hotel room at Kettner’s and talk about the day, just the two of us. In Devon, arriving by boat to everyone cheering us into the Yacht Club reception, and later, making our entrance for the first dance in our party outfits.

The speeches across both events were so special, but Rach’s sister gave a speech in London that perfectly captured us and our relationship. We reflected afterwards on how lucky we were not only to have found what we have together, but to have the people closest to us see and understand it too.

What does being married mean to you, and are there any special rituals you have that you would like to share?

For us, I think being married is having a best friend and someone you can be completely yourself with. Someone who understands you, who you can be quiet with, and who cares for you as much in the small, everyday ways as in the bigger moments.

In terms of rituals, we have coffee together every morning, which is a small but important part of our day. James also draws me a card for every birthday and significant occasion. They are always drawn very badly, which is part of their charm. One day I’ll frame them all together.