Kayla + Fisayo by Natalie Joy Mitchell - Together Journal

My vision was that the wedding would feel creative, intimate, and authentic.

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We live in San Diego, and we’re both educators. A love of learning is something that really defines us and how we like to spend time together. Discovering new information or nurturing and deepening our interests helps us feel connected to ourselves and each other. We love reading, writing, going to the movies, visiting museums, and travelling. We also enjoy being out in nature and long walks, and over the last year, we’ve become avid birders!

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

We met for the first time at a party in 2016—though we’d known of each other, we had heard each others’ names mentioned here and there around our graduate program. We got to talking and discovered that we’d been living in the same city at the same time years prior. That point of familiarity spurred an exchange of nostalgia and a secret, wondering whether our paths had unknowingly crossed in the past. We talked all night and felt as if we were the only two people in the room. We met up again the next afternoon at a picnic. Again, we talked for hours. That evening, we grabbed dinner, just the two of us, and kept talking. Neither of us wanted the night to end. Kayla would be moving out of the city for the summer. Fisayo offered to send her a manuscript he’d nearly completed. This email set off a pen-pal chain that we kept up all summer. The email chain accumulated anecdotes, photos, poems, movie recommendations, art, our childhoods, and our aspirations. We never talked on the phone but instead sent long letters to each other every few days. When we returned to school in the fall, we went on a few dates, and the rest is, as they say, history.

Kayla – I thought Fisayo seemed like Mr. Cool, but in reality, he’s just on the quieter side until you get to know him. I quickly learned he was incredibly sweet, earnest, and funny.

Fisayo – Kayla was just as cool as I thought she would be, but even funnier than I expected. Her insights and sense of humour lingered long after we parted. I never wanted to stop talking to her.

When did you first realise that this was someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with?

Kayla – During our first official date, after we had spent the summer writing to each other, Fisayo arranged for us to meet at a farmer’s market in San Francisco. We got food and had a picnic overlooking the bay. He had brought paper and pens, and we made little zines together. Then, we went to City Lights Bookstore, and he had us secretly slip our zines onto a bookshelf for a stranger to find. I feel like I knew then.

Fisayo – It’s hard to recall the exact time or day, but we were in San Francisco. We were hanging out as we often did, silently working on our writing in a cafe. We left the cafe we were working in to go grab dinner somewhere else in the city. Somewhere during the conversation, I remember really feeling it. This is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Tell us about the vision you had for the mood and style of your wedding. (theme, key styling elements, florals, colour palettes etc.).

Kayla – My vision was that the wedding would feel creative, intimate, and authentic. We grew up in different parts of California, but one location that feels special to our relationship is the desert, so I began looking for venues there that reflected our interests and artistic tastes. I imagined an outdoor wedding where the space offered not just natural beauty but also unique architectural visuals. Once we found a place in Palm Desert–a Spanish-style villa with mid-century touches–the other design choices easily followed. Our colour palate highlighted hues found in the desert: greens from the various cacti, cream and light yellows from the earth, and shades of purple from the soft, pastel sunsets. With the floral choices, I aimed to create a sense of unexpected beauty with the arrangements. Choosing flowers like proteas, hanging amaranthus, pom-poms, and kangaroo’s paw, I think, reflected the vibe of the desert while also echoing the unique silhouettes of desert flora. When choosing vases and creating our signage, I thought about mid-century design and handmade crafts. I especially loved how our DIY table settings turned out–romantic, minimal, and still surprising and colourful. The candle-lit dinner under the stars while listening to friends and family make the most beautiful speeches for us is something I’ll never forget.

What styling and visual elements worked best for you? (could be things, the florals, particular hire products or your marquee etc., something the stylist created or simply just the scenic beauty of your location or the existing design of your venue).

The scenic beauty of our venue was a very special element to us. The property’s cactus garden seemed almost painted the afternoon of our wedding–a myriad of greens and textures glowing in the autumn sun. During sunset, the sky turned at first a bright yellow and then faded into soft pinks and purples until it diffused away into baby blue. Beautiful trees shaded the inner yard where we had the reception. Birds soared in the canyon below the property. Even if we had not had a single decoration, the property would have been more than enough. We felt a sense of peace and inspiration from the natural beauty, which only deepened the surreal and incredible emotion of the day.

What did you enjoy most about the planning process and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?

Kayla – I enjoy art and design a lot. The wedding was an opportunity for me to experiment with and imagine design elements that I didn’t have an opportunity to in my everyday life, which made me happy. In terms of decor and table settings, we did everything ourselves. Even though, at times, the preparation process for the DIY elements felt overwhelming, I still enjoyed the challenge of attempting to find items that looked like my vision but for a budget-friendly price. It was a constant hunt for many months!

In terms of planning, I think my biggest piece of advice is exactly what I read on blogs and what many people told me during the process, but it didn’t sink in until after the day–so many things will not go right, and that’s okay. Do not feel like each choice must be perfect; make decisions and move on! Do not make it more difficult on yourself. Your personality and preferences will shine through, and the day will inevitably communicate the essence of your relationship.

Tell us about your main outfits, what was unique, is there a story?

Kayla – From first looking at wedding dresses online, I knew I wanted a timeless dress with accessories that added a unique “moment.” The dress I found felt timeless in its simple silhouette and just barely off-white colour. Adding the scarf, fresh-water pearl earrings, and a long, thin veil made me feel like I had made it my own, and on the day, I felt just like myself, which is exactly how I wanted to feel.

Fisyo – I wanted a classic Tux and really wanted to look and feel like James Bond.

What was one, or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on? (food, photography, florals, the venue, your outfits?).

We knew we would be okay splurging on the photography and the food. We wanted the kind of meal we were envisioning to look and feel casual but not taste casual, so it took some time to narrow down the caterers who would be able to deliver that for us on our budget, and we were so lucky to be able to find and book The Urban Oven. Our guests really loved the food and our pizza selections. The desert has always been a special place to us; we knew we wanted it to appear as it does in our minds and memories. For that we always knew we wanted it to be shot on film and felt we would be okay spending extra time hunting down a photographer who had a visual palette that we absolutely loved. It was an incredible honour to have Natalie shoot our wedding. Her style, taste, and insights were simply perfect in every way. Everything was captured exactly as we hoped and imagined.

Did anything happen on your wedding day that you laugh about in hindsight (even if it was stressful at the time)?

Kayla – I’m not sure if I’m ready to laugh about it yet (haha)! The tables and chair rental company did not deliver enough tablecloths and two tablecloths of the wrong size. Our coordinator managed to fix part of the problem (she was so wonderful!), but we still had to make it work in a way that wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for visually. So, things really do go astray no matter how hard you try to plan ahead! Roll with it–the magic of the day will persist.