Tegan + Oliver by Damien Milan - Together Journal

It’s been a chaotic, deranged, and long journey, but it’s one that has brought us together, and we couldn’t be happier.

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We live in Sydney with our cat Baggy. We spend weekends at the beach with coffee and acai bowls. We love to travel and have lived overseas multiple times.

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

A love story is quite a saga. Apologies for being over the word limit.

We have had the longest slow burn of getting together – but totally worth the wait!

In June 2013, Ollie and I crossed paths at a mutual friend’s 21st birthday party, although we were both in separate relationships at the time, there was an undeniable spark between us after we started chatting. Several months later, fate brought us together again at another friend’s birthday celebration by the beach in Wollongong. Ollie added me on Facebook, and I must admit, he made me quite nervous. However, we couldn’t pursue anything because he was still in a relationship.

We both attended the same university, with him studying law and me majoring in marketing. Interestingly, most of my friends were also studying law, and that’s how we continued to see each other on campus, but our respective relationships kept us apart for several years.

Fast forward to 2016, and a significant turn of events occurred. I broke up with my boyfriend, and Ollie’s relationship also ended. Serendipitously, I joined my friends’ university games netball team, even though I was not a fan of sports. This led to nights out at clubs, including one memorable evening at Mr. Crown in July. To my surprise, I ran into Ollie there, and I couldn’t resist asking, “Do you remember me?” His response, “How could I forget,” set the stage for what was to come. We spent the night together, and he walked me home like a true gentleman the next day.

From that point on, our days were filled with hikes, dinners, beach outings, walks, festivals, and much more. I knew deep down that Ollie was the one I wanted to spend my life with, and he made me incredibly nervous. The mere sight of his messages had me feeling like I could throw up from excitement. I was convinced I would marry him.

However, our time together was limited because Ollie had a three-month backpacking trip planned in South America starting in October. It was a heart-wrenching moment when he left, and we exchanged emotional love letters. Surprisingly, his three-month trip turned into a year of living and working overseas, and we spoke less and less as life carried on.

In early 2017, I moved to Sydney to begin my corporate career and tried my best to move on from Ollie. Then, in December 2017, I received a Snapchat from him featuring a song we used to listen to together. I asked if he was back in Australia, and he confirmed that he was in Bowral visiting his parents. We exchanged texts about our lives, and in January 2018, I took a bold step. With tickets to see the xx in the domain, my friend fell ill and couldn’t join me, so I mustered the courage to invite Ollie. He agreed and drove from Bowral to Sydney, making me incredibly nervous.

Meeting him in Bondi, I couldn’t help but kiss him within the first 30 seconds. We barely made it to the gig, and at the concert, under the enchanting music of the xx, he said, “I love you.” It was a magical moment after a year of separation, and I was over the moon.

That summer of 2018, we were inseparable. Ollie practically moved into my Bondi flat, making the most of his visits by either borrowing his parents’ car or taking the three-hour train ride to see me. It was a season filled with fun, fish and chips, beach days, and exploring Sydney together.

However, history seemed to repeat itself when Ollie had a job lined up in Europe as a tour guide, including a trip to Mexico with no return date. It was a heartbreak, and I wondered why he kept doing this to me. I bid him farewell with his best friend Mitch, who later became his best man, and as he walked through the airport gate, Ollie told me, “It will always be you, Tegs!”

We stayed in touch more this time, but life carried us in different directions. Eventually, I decided to move to the UK, a long-held dream of mine. Ollie was living there at the time, and we saw this as an opportunity. If we didn’t work out romantically, at least I could enjoy my time in the UK.

I shared my plans with Ollie, and he was keen on the idea. We decided to move to London together, with him coming from the north to meet me. We reunited at the Ace Hotel in Shoreditch, nervous about how things would work out. We did a few housesits while looking for a place to live, and as our guards came down, we realized we wanted to be together. Despite the challenges of London’s winter and Ollie’s business endeavors, we supported each other and found happiness in each other’s company.

In 2019, we moved to Edinburgh, and in mid-2020, we returned to Australia. Since then, we’ve been together, and our anniversary is marked on the day I landed in the UK, November 13th. It’s been a chaotic, deranged, and long journey, but it’s one that has brought us together, and we couldn’t be happier.

When did you first realise that this was someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with?

Not to sound lame, but as soon as I met him. However it was certainly solidified for both of us when we lived in the romantic city of Edinburgh together.

Was there a proposal? Tell us a little about it…

The original plan was to propose at the Figure 8 pools in the Royal National Park where we had our first date in 2016. Bit too obvious that one though. We had a trip planned to Tassie, flying out on Tegan’s 30th. I had a few spots lined up (Freycinet – no, because it was raining sideways, Mount Wellington in Hobart was closed). I knew we would be alright once we got to Cradle Mountain. We had a beautiful day when we attempted to hike the summit. I say attempt because we couldn’t due to the ice 50m from the top where I had planned to propose. Because we had set out early and were the only ones I had seen a really nice spot halfway and thought I could do it there. But when we got there it was packed with people, and Tegan’s fingers had swollen like frankfurts because of the cold (no proposal happening there). Thought once we got down to Dove Lake, there was a nice spot, but there was an old couple who wouldn’t leave and were down there for their daughter’s wedding which wasn’t happening anymore. Thwarted again and I’m starting to think, shit is this a sign. Thankfully we had a really nice private spa booked with an outdoor jacuzzi to ourselves with some sparkling. When that finished, we went for a sunset walk and that’s where it happened, with a wombat to witness.

Tell us about the vision you had for the mood or style of your wedding.

The vision we had was a rompy little London-style wedding. We wanted Old World Charm and the perfect combination of casual effortlessness but classy. I was obsessed with mini dresses and so glad I found one that suited the day so perfectly! We didn’t want a cookie-cutter wedding venue and we also didn’t want somewhere where we had to travel far and organise vendors in a different town/city.

What was one element you were happy to splurge on?

The venues! We really wanted a wedding with good and we really don’t like a wedding with a 50/50 beef chicken drop. Good food was important to us and this was possible with only having 45 guests. We were able to splurge on the Restaurant Hubert and we are so glad we did! The food was so delicious and guests were raving about it. Also, having your wedding at an unconventional wedding venue (a restaurant not set up for weddings) is a total vibe. The restaurant was perfectly dark, moody and filled with character and really added magic and that wow factor for guests. Plus, we didn’t have to spend money on stylists as the restraint was already styled perfectly!

Did anything happen on your wedding day that you laugh about in hindsight (even if it was stressful at the time)?

My aunty wearing a white dress! A bold guest outfit choice haha! Other than that, the day was super fun and easy breezy! One funny thing though was when I was changing into my mini dress, my MoH and I had the State Library to ourselves so I was completely naked in the Library which was a pretty cool moment – I had her take a photo as when else can you be fully naked in a public library. I realised mere moments later the security camera was right there! Whoops! Lucky them I guess. Ollie had no idea about the second dress so we had organised with Damien (photographer) that when I said ‘I need to go to the bathroom’ he would take some photos of the guys out on the steps of the library whilst I got changed. When I stepped out, Ollie got the shock of his life and Damien captured this moment. It was so much fun! His face was priceless.

Tell us about your main outfits, what was unique, is there a story?

Initially, I had the Hera Couture mini as my dress for both venues however, after thinking about it for a couple of months, I decided I wanted something a little more traditional for the library ceremony setting. I went to Karen Willis Holmes and the long-sleeved gown was the only dress I tried on and I knew it was the one. I am so glad I splurged on a second dress as they suited each venue perfectly. When entering the reception, all of the guests had the biggest shock on their faces and it really set the fun party tone for the rest of the night.