Dane + Scott by Misi Chan - Together Journal

Dane —— I’m a GP and Scotty is a partner at a Tauranga law firm. He hates conflict so works in property and trust, which was very handy when purchasing our first home together and also works in my favour when I want something my way! We play sports, have a pub quiz team, and have the surf at our doorstep in Mt Maunganui. We also have two boys – Harrison (10) and George(8) – who keep us busy.

Our love story really started at Easter 2017. We had started chatting briefly via a gay dating app a few weeks prior and were immediately drawn to each other, given we both played rugby. There were a few glaring differences, though. We lived in different cities. Scotty had two kids and a supportive ex-wife and ran a law firm.

I told Scotty I loved him two weeks after we met. He nodded and said ‘Same, bro’. We had both, in secret, organised to proposewithin the same two weeks. I’d organised for a ring to be made in Auckland, and Scotty had sourced a piece of pounamu from his home town to use for a customised ring

He decided to do it on one of our early morning hikes. He woke me at 5.30am and when we reached the summit,it was still pitch black. I wasn’t impressed and wanted to go home. Scotty grabbed my hand and handed me something while muttering, ‘Will you marry me?’

We added our own special touches to the wedding. One of our best mates was our celebrant. We had an immediate family walk down the aisle while Scotty played the bagpipes. We hired two incredible drag queens to MC our reception and had a first dance battle instead of a first dance.

We splurged on the venue and the beautiful Kiri Nathan kākahu (cloak) that took months to be woven by hand. We wanted a winter wedding so we could wear our suits all day without sweating out our fake tans! We went with a flannel material that had the winter wool look but was light enough to carry.

Kiri beautifully incorporated our Māori and Scottish heritages into the tāniko trim of the kākahu, patched family tartans into the inner lining, and styled the feathering to represent both our whānau and love for each other. It was an incredibly special garment that will forever remind us of our big day and remain a family taonga to adorn the next generation on special occasions.

We also wore Scottish pins and brooches to acknowledge Scotty’s Scottish ancestry. I almost forgot to put on my kākahubefore I walked down the aisle as I was so busy making sure everybody else was in place. I also broke my collar pin about 20 minutes before the ceremony and it had to be glued and tied to my button. Who brings superglue to a wedding? Drag queens, that’s who!