Amy + Dan by Paula B Photography - Together Journal

We wanted to feel like we were in a fantasy novel.

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

We live in Los Angeles with our geriatric cat, Allie. Dan is a creative director at a video game company. I’m a marketing consultant and neurodiversity advocate. We probably talk about our jobs too much, but it’s exciting to have a partner who understands and works in a similar space.

We love sharing our special interests with each other. My favourite topics are human design and astrology, and Dan usually brings up world politics and video games. We spend hours playing League of Legends online with my family. It’s a highly competitive strategy game where teamwork is everything.

Lately, we’ve been taking on a new challenge: building a house in Michigan. I love getting to know more people from Dan’s hometown and spending more time with his family. This is a special project for us because Dan inherited the place from his mother, and my best friend from college is helping us bring our vision to life as our architect.

Dan also introduced me to some fun rituals. We go to his favorite coffee shop in Highland Park on the weekends. We celebrate our “monthiversary” at our local sushi restaurant. When we’re not feeling lazy, we take walks together at sunset or jump into a bath to debrief and talk about our day.

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

In the summer of 2022, I made the first move and liked Dan’s dating profile. He immediately asked me to go on a date. We met up for Japanese breakfast in DTLA and played with our food as we talked nervously in the LA heat.

I was concerned that Dan kept calling me “dude” (he explained later that it was because he felt comfortable around me). He also looked very different from his profile pictures. I expected someone with short hair and glasses, but he looked more like Tarzan in baggy clothes. I guess his photos were a little outdated. I still thought he was very handsome and funny. It was a lovely surprise that he asked me to go on another date at the end of our meal. Most people don’t do that and wait to text the next day. We didn’t follow conventional dating rules.

Dan says he thought I looked “ethereal” in my favourite blue sundress. He says he loved how I was “friendly and curious.” But he was concerned that I wasn’t interested in him since I wasn’t very flirty.

When did you first realize that this was someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with?

After a few friendly dates, Dan finally tried to kiss me. It was BAD. We were eating vegan ice cream on the back of my pickup truck. I didn’t get the hint that he wanted to kiss me, so somehow, his lips landed on my cheeks. When we did kiss on the lips, we were both really dry from all the talking and ice cream. We walked away awkwardly that night and wondered if there was any chemistry. Dan courageously texted me that he liked me and asked if I liked him too. I told him I was interested, and we started to put down our walls. First dates can be so nerve-wracking, and I’m happy we gave it time.

We later met at the movie theatre and shared a big, passionate kiss before watching Everything Everywhere All At Once. We lost track of time discussing the movie’s themes and characters and how deeply we related to them. Afterwards, we both told our best friends that we found the person we were going to marry. Dan included the “laundry and taxes” line from the film in his vows, and our first dance was to a song from the soundtrack.

Tell us about the vision you had for the mood and style of your wedding. (theme, key styling elements, florals, colour palettes etc.).

It was important for us to have a wedding that matched our styles and supported our different needs. We wanted to feel like we were in a fantasy novel, but we were also both neurodivergent and didn’t want to get overwhelmed by loud music or too many people. Dan and I also wanted to highlight the natural beauty of Los Angeles and be mindful of our environmental impact.

We worked with Amanda Chase from Substance who helped us envision and plan a wedding that was neurodiversity-friendly and as sustainable as possible. She put together a mood board for us that was whimsical and romantic yet simple and practical. We planned the wedding to include many breaks and sensory safe spaces for our wedding party and guests. Amanda also introduced us to our amazing photographer, Paula! Paula was so accommodating when we asked for more natural photos and less flash photography. She shared tips to help us feel comfortable and excited. We love how she captured plenty of intimate moments and candid photos. Paula brought our wedding to life through camera work we could never have imagined!

What styling and visual elements worked best for you? (could be things, the florals, particular hire products or your marquee etc., something the stylist created or simply just the scenic beauty of your location or the existing design of your venue).

I saw my veil for the first time on my wedding day, and it made everything feel so real and magical! Elena Cortez-Neavel from Abilitee is a neurodivergent and slow-fashion designer who styled the wedding party with vintage lace and accessories. As I was getting ready in my room, Elena was next to me, handing the last rosettes on my veil and helping my bridesmaids with their matching jewellery. Everything was so beautiful and soft. It was therapeutic watching her process.

My bridesmaids had gone through my closet and picked out what they wanted to wear. Since I have access to some of the most incredible sales and sample sales in LA, I have quite a large collection of gowns. They ended up choosing a mix of Rodarte and Selkie dresses to match our mood board. I worked with Connie Tao Designs in Pasadena to add corsets in the back to accommodate different sizes on a few of the dresses. I love it when my friends borrow my clothes. They all looked amazing and it felt so special to me. It added a fun, personal, and sustainable touch to the experience.

What did you enjoy most about the planning process and do you have any tips for couples starting their wedding planning journey?

We loved getting creative together! For the wedding favours, we created a custom tarot deck featuring each one of our wedding guests. We made sure to include his mom, his stepdad, and my dad, who were there with us in spirit that day. Dan taught me how to use Midjourney, and it took me days to edit and personalize each tarot card. Our guests had so much fun searching for their personal tarot cards and figuring out who was who.

We also got reiki ceremonial haircuts together right before the wedding from Jo Marie Riedl, the Reiki Hairstylist. There were crystals, tarot cards, and the most relaxing scalp massages with essential oils. We buried the hair that was cut off afterwards in our backyard. And we energetically felt great!

The entire planning process helped us get closer to each other and our community. The night before, we hosted everyone who travelled to our home for some personal time. After our wedding, we booked cabanas through ResortPass at the pool with our closest friends.

Tell us about your main outfits, what was unique, is there a story?

My ceremony dress was the first wedding dress I saved on Instagram. My best friend found it on Etsy and it was very affordable at $400. OFFICESEVEN, twin sisters from Kyiv, Ukraine, make these custom fairytale-inspired dresses. They added lace throughout my dress so that I didn’t have to steam it. They also shortened the long sleeves so that I didn’t have to worry about getting them dirty. The sisters were so nice and easy to work with. I love that I could reverse the dress for a more classic look too. I’ve worn it again recently for a fantasy photoshoot on my birthday!

For the reception, Dan’s sister found a 1950s vintage wedding dress when cleaning out their late mother’s home. Dan’s mom loved collecting antiques and vintage clothes. It was emotional wearing her dress and perfect for slow dancing all night. We also had a Chinese tea ceremony in the evening. I wore a traditional Chinese Qun Kua. The dress originates from the Guangdong province of Southern China, where my parents are from. We loved bringing our two different worlds together.

Dan wore a tailored linen suit from Dandy Del Mar, a California brand. He loves green and didn’t want to feel constricted. He paired his outfit with his favourite jade bolo tie and boots. He later changed into his favourite sneakers for dancing.

What was one, or two elements that were most important to you both that you were happy to spend a little more on? (food, photography, florals, the venue, your outfits?).

The venue! Once we booked this, everything else fell into place. We wanted it to feel like a little getaway for our family and friends. The Mountain Mermaid in Topanga Canyon is a hidden gem. We only found out about it because my best friend lived across the street. The venue could hold 50 people comfortably. Many of us wanted to stay overnight, so we rented out their rooms. The Mountain Mermaid is also home to peacocks, butterflies, native plants, and an eclectic collection of antiques. It was recently a firefighter refuge for the nearby fires. The owner, Bill, started restoring this historic property in the early 90s. I loved the stories he told us about how it used to be the only (secret) bar where gay men could dance together in the 50s.

During our first visit, we also met Bill’s dear friend and caterer Layne Sanden. We told him about our dream grazing table with our favourite foods. He prepared a tasting menu for us before we decided to commit, and each bite felt like home. Dan and Layne also bonded over their time in Michigan. It was just such an easy experience, and it all felt very serendipitous.

Did anything happen on your wedding day that you laugh about in hindsight (even if it was stressful at the time)?

So many things could have gone wrong, but everything worked out in the end. There was an agenda, but we were running late. Our family jumped in to help. Nannie brought in lunch and kept everyone’s spirits high. Aunt Marsha literally jumped into the pool to decorate it with swans. Our wedding party helped out with all the final details. There wasn’t time for a rehearsal, but the unexpected moments during the ceremony were the most memorable and magical.

When I was changing into my reception dress, I realized I had forgotten to order the late-night pizza. Dan and I called every pizza shop nearby. Most places said we were too far for delivery. We were about to give up when the manager at Tomato Pie Pizza in Woodland Hills called us back and said he’d do anything for our wedding day.

We’re beyond grateful to Nannie and John Maxwell for making our dream wedding a reality. We still can’t believe our friends flew in from all over the world to be our witnesses. And last but not least, thank you to all our vendors, who rolled with the chaos and made every detail so special.