Emma + Tom by Maegan Brown Moments - Together Journal

Tell us a little about yourselves, what you do, what you love…

Em: Hello, I’m Emma, a kiwi who has lived in Melbourne for over a decade now because I found the love of my life here! I do often miss my homeland, New Zealand, but I love living in Melbourne for many reasons.

Melbourne has a thriving, dynamic and creative energy that shines through its culture of arts, music, entertainment, sport, events and hospitality (especially the food!). Australia’s striking wilderness isn’t hard to access either so there’s always an opportunity to get out of the big city life to recharge, connect to nature and get a fix of the great outdoors. Professionally I work for the City of Melbourne (local government) in a project lead role across sustainability, smart cities and economic development, so it helps that I’m a huge advocate for this place I call home.

Tom: I’m Tom and I’m an Aussie and have lived in Melbourne my whole life. I’m passionate about taking action on climate change and spend most of my spare time working on a not-for-profit I co-founded that uses AFL football as a platform for communicating the need for action and showing the solutions that are already at hand. Like Em, I love the lifestyle that Melbourne offers, especially arts, culture, sport and food, but always love traveling to New Zealand to visit friends and family when we get a chance.

How/where/when did you meet – and what were your first impressions?

Em: I met Tom when I was working casually at a burger bar diner on Chapel Street called Parlour. I worked with Tom’s younger sister Hannah and we became close friends immediately. Hannah was the one who orchestrated the pairing of us really, it was her grand plan all along. She kept telling Tom to come in for coffee to visit us (or mainly me) on a weekly basis and this went on for several months.

When Tom first came into the diner, he charged right in, walked straight past me right to the back of the room without seeing me initially and I looked up in awe because my first impressions were: ‘He’s a giant! He’s not my typical ‘type’! But Hannah was persistent, she chipped away at organising many ‘chance encounters’ at the diner and suggesting Tom pick us up from work or help me carry slabs of beer from the bottle shop to stock up the fridge. But she didn’t really have to do anything more because I was already falling head over heels.

Tom: My first impression was Em was far too cool for me! She was a little bit older, worked at a cool cafe, was living away from home in another country and was super fun and full of energy. I didn’t think I had a chance to be honest! Over the next few weeks, every Saturday I came in to visit, have a coffee at the bar and finally after weeks of dropping in for a 5 minute chat here and there, I ended up dropping Em home at the end of one of her shifts. Em being the brave one asked Hannah for my number so she could thank me for the lift and continue the conversation. We started texting and very quickly had a date set up for later in the week, the rest is history.

When did you first realise that this was someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with?

Tom: Very soon after Em and I started going out she left for three months on an around the world trip that she had been planning for a long time. I think it was a make or break moment for us; we’d either keep in touch and stay together or we’d drift apart. Lo and behold we spoke every day she was away! We couldn’t wait to see each other when she returned and there isn’t a day that we haven’t spoken to each other since then in nearly nine years. Whether I knew that we would spend the rest of our lives together at that point, I don’t know, but I certainly knew that she was more special than anyone I’d ever met and I didn’t want to let her go.

Em: I don’t think there was a particular moment of realisation for me, but looking at what makes a beautiful relationship work, it has to start with the collision of two unique and independent human beings who are prepared to explore the complexities and joys of life together. It’s through this process where at some point you realise you truly have unconditional love for each other, that’s when you know it’s right for life, and that’s how I feel about Tom. Being in a relationship is not without friction and compromise, we’ve been able to navigate this for over eight years together and I think we’ve actually become quite good at it! I feel like we embrace the pleasures more than the troubles in life, and this is what makes us so well suited to keep going through life together.

Was there a proposal? Tell us a little about it…

Tom: I proposed to Em at Piha beach on the West Coast of Auckland, New Zealand on January 2, 2020. I orchestrated the whole thing for months and months in advance from Melbourne. Lots of intricate work behind the scenes and timing was critical with the ring being finished at the very last minute (Em’s uncle is the jeweler, based in Queenstown) and I had to manage logistics on how to get it to the final location in time for the proposal via multiple people handing it to each other all over NZ… ! I hadn’t seen or felt the ring in the flesh till the day Em saw it for the first time.

The set up involved Em’s bestie Juno, her husband Sam, plus their kids Rosa and Arie in the whole thing. They set up a gorgeous picnic on the beach, a scene complete with rug, seats, basket of food and champagne of course. They hid inside a beach tent about 100 meters away while it all unfolded. We also had a guest appearance from two other friends, Anton and Nina (Em’s high school mates), who live locally and helped out and even filmed the event from Lion Rock whilst hiding in the bushes.

I pulled the ring out of the basket (I was instructed that it was nestled in its box next to the cheese) and got down on one knee as Em shrieked with delight even though she knew it was coming after seeing the whole scene, it was such an awesome moment. Soon after the ring was on the finger Em the next thing we know Em’s parents started walking over the sand dunes to join the gathering (having flown up from Dunedin) and later on my folks flew over from Melbourne to meet with us all for dinner. It was a real festival of a time, one thing after the next of amazing memories.

I know that Em loves surprises and how special it was to have both our sets of parents there. Piha beach has always been so special to Em (she was a lifeguard there, got her first job working at the Piha store making sandwiches, coffee and pies), her parents took Em there for family beach days from the very beginning, and now Piha is very special to me and my parents who were able to share in this once in a lifetime proposal.

Tell us about the vision you had for the mood or style of your wedding…

Em: To preface this, we had four attempts at getting married because of the COVID pandemic, but we got there in the end! The final vision was quite different from the original plan and a little compromised because the wedding was meant to take place in New Zealand at my parents’ place near Dunedin, but of course the virus had other plans… So we decided why not bring the native/natural kiwi theme to Melbourne where possible and with other pandemic drama to contend with, the mood and style morphed into something rather special and unique in the end.

Our wedding venue for ceremony and reception, Rupert on Rupert, is located in Collingwood, Melbourne, and is an old special stomping ground for us. We first moved in together in an apartment just around the corner and we used to frequent the Rupert on Rupert restaurant numerous times over the years to celebrate birthdays, get togethers or just pop down for a wine and a pizza. The venue itself is effortlessly stunning, it’s an old converted warehouse with high ceilings, plenty of glass to let the natural light in and is full of lush plants and greenery. It feels like a greenhouse but with pops of quirk like floral wallpaper and vintage furniture to give it real character, when the sun goes down and the candles get lit it becomes very cozy.

With COVID uncertainties still on the boil at the time, and without any kiwi guests able to make it (aside from my parents), we ended up going for a smaller, more relaxed, intimate wedding with 30 of our nearest and dearest who celebrated with us over a shared banquet style lunch after the late morning ceremony. We had a personally curated spotify playlist on rotation and Veuve Clicquot flowing. Casual and cool loaded with fun is probably where we got to overall with the mood/vibe of the day. We stipulated no dress code, we simply informed our guests to wear what made them happy and comfortable and we both greeted them at the venue on arrival, there was no ‘big reveal’ on walking down the aisle at all.

For our florals, we worked with Tom’s fabulously talented cousin Molly, Miss Molly Designs, to pull together what we called a ‘Forest Coastal’ theme with strong New Zealand vibes such as toi-toi grasses and deep forest green tones; reminding me where I grew up in the lush bush of the Waitakere Ranges and of course hints to black sand west coast beaches. I had a gorgeous loosely structured bouquet consisting of white water lilies, orange mokara orchids, blue hydrangea, dried grasses and greenery.

Molly made an impressive floor installation for the ceremony altar made up of small to medium clusters of dried grasses, including pampas grass, eucalyptus and olive foliage with monstera leaves. Also featuring were hydrangeas, latte dahlia’s, dried fan palm, sticks, dried flowers and two types of orchids to mix it up. Visually, with all the elements of the venue and flowers together we created a wonderful haven of colour and texture.

Did anything happen on your wedding day that you laugh about in hindsight (even if it was stressful at the time)?

Em: I don’t think I had fully mentally adjusted to the fact that our wedding had moved from being an evening affair to the middle of the day and needless to say I am not a morning person. Although we had organised hair and makeup to start at a very reasonable time of 7am, and Heather did an amazing job finishing by the agreed time, I still managed to manifest a sense of chaos and panic that we were going to be late for the first look photos and even the ceremony itself!

Guests were planning to arrive at the venue at 11am and the plan was for Tom and I to both be at the venue to greet everyone on arrival, I did not want to be arriving just as the music started playing to cue our walk down the aisle together – although that’s often how brides plan their first appearance.

I had grand plans to video call my bestie in Auckland while I was getting ready in the hotel, show her some behind the scenes action, speak about all manner of things in a calm and relaxed way but instead I was rushed into the limousine with barely minutes to spare. I managed to get her on Facetime with sketchy mobile reception as we drove all of 10 minutes to the venue. I must have had a look of stress and anxiety on my face which is not what you want to see from the bride on her wedding day!

It wasn’t the way I had envisioned the getting ready part, compressed into such a short amount of time, but in the end it all worked out great and I arrived with plenty of time for Tom and I to do first look photos and some small group shots with immediate family as well. Luckily time seemed to slow down once I got to the venue and I was able to enjoy the rest of the day carefree as it all flowed from there. It certainly puts a smile on my face now looking back on the whirlwind of it all.